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January
2010
A Little Peek
Into My Mind & a Fragment of My Story...
 Susanna's
Story
So last night my mind was buzzing and my pencil was trying to keep up. When I
need to make sense of things I sit down and write, and that’s when everything
seems to become crystal clear.
I was trying to make sense of dating vs. courtship in the world of today. When I
say courtship I simply mean following God’s plan for your life to find your life
partner, not of my own wishes, but of His, so please don’t roll your eyes
because I know most of us when we hear the word “courtship” usually think of a
list of rules and over-protective leaders. Courtship vs. dating, to me, is
simply God’s plan vs. mine, His way vs. my way, the Redeemer vs. the sinful
nature. Dating seems to have such a stronger case, when I try to tell my friends
why I choose courtship in my future over dating now, I struggle to explain in a
way that will make people say, “Hmm, you have a point there.” But what I came up
with means a lot to me and that’s why I want to share it with you. This is
specifically written to girls, but I would appreciate guys reading it too.
The Heart of a Woman
The heart of a woman is simply the biggest reason I choose courtship over
dating, God’s plans over mine. As women, we are the crown of creation, we are
the “givers of life”, creation reached its zenith in us. So I asked myself, what
is at the very core of our beings? Our hearts, your heart and my heart, the
heart that God has gifted to each of us. I’m a logical person, so if God says
that I (woman) am the crown of creation, and if it’s true that my heart is the
core of my being, then what does that mean? My heart, a woman’s heart, is the
most valuable thing ever created. There is nothing more precious than our
hearts, ladies. They are the center of our beings and we are the crown of
creation. Physically they give us life, spiritually they give life to others.
Within them is everything we hold dear. Also, because our hearts are so
valuable, they are the number one thing the enemy is after. If not for our
hearts, this world would be devoid of life, no matter how much we could
reproduce. But, wait a second, how are we treating these gems, our hearts? Are
we keeping them safe from the attacks that come from all sides? I asked myself,
have I protected my heart? Up until lately, no. Has your heart been bruised,
abused, beaten, scarred, burned, hurt, walked upon, and/or marred beyond
recognition? Mine was, and I think I can say that most of ours have been. In
some cases, I think we could’ve protected ourselves a little better, been a
little wiser. If we would have thought about or realized how valuable our hearts
are would we still have given it away to that guy so easily? Let me share a
little about my heart.
My Story
Last year I started learning about my heart, the heart of a woman. God showed me
the value of a woman’s heart and the attack upon it, these things that I have
already shared with you. I then took the time to examine my heart and it was not
a pretty sight. Blood, scars, and deformity marked my heart beyond recognition.
This thing that was supposed to be so beautiful, was ugly and terribly
neglected. I cried over the state of my heart, how had I allowed myself and
others to do so much fatal damage to this jewel? It was hardly a jewel anymore.
One morning shortly after that I was spending time in the presence of God and a
veil was lifted, I looked up and I saw the One who loves me. He stood there
smiling, arms stretched out, hands open wide, asking for my heart. MY HEART. My
ugly, scarred, neglected heart. He wanted it. He desired to have it more than
anything else I could ever offer Him. I ran to Him and surrendered my heart,
broken pieces and all. And He gave me a gift in return, He replaced my heart.
Even now, when I close my eyes, I can see it – He carved it out of a diamond the
size of my two fists and He placed it within me, at the center of my being.
There it sparkles and shines as it was intended to. It is not hard, but it
possesses a strength beyond measure and an ability to love past a multitude of
wrongs. Out of it flows the springs of life.
My Conclusions
True beauty radiates out of the heart of a woman, so where does that beauty go
when we have neglected and misused our hearts? It disappears, and though we
search and strive for that beauty we will never possess it again until we have
encountered true healing in our hearts. God longs for us to encounter that
healing and the only thing that blocks Him from doing so is ourselves. We live
in a sexualized society and our harsh environment has caused us to build walls
around our hearts and harden our hearts. When we give our hearts to God He
grants us joy and freedom and love, yet safety and protection as well.
We need to open up to Him and allow Him to break down the walls we have put up
and replace our broken hearts with beautiful ones. I have done it, and I can’t
say that it is easy. It can be painful and difficult, but it is good, rewarding,
and holy. And holiness is God’s asking us to be His.
We need to make our hearts top priority. My heart is Jesus’ to protect, it
belongs to Him. And He has given me a biological father and spiritual fathers to
protect it. He has chosen one man that will one day be the sole protector of my
heart, a man that will fight for my heart, and a man that will add to its beauty
and value, not a man that will degrade it. He has not chosen several men that
will protect it along the way, no, He has chosen one that will protect it
forever, from the day that my heart goes from my father's covering to my
husband's.
To me, this is what courtship is all about: the woman’s heart and protecting it.
It’s about that transition from the protection of the father to the protection
of the husband. It’s about treasuring this valuable heart, it’s not about
stealing it. I want to do courtship because I want a man that’s going to fight
to prove that he is worthy to protect my heart. I want that man that’s going to
love my heart more than anything, a man that will recognize the beauty that lies
inside of me. I accepted God’s healing because I want to one day be able to give
that special man my whole heart, not a heart that has been marked by other guys,
but a heart that belongs to him alone. Wouldn’t you love to be able to give your
heart to your husband, beautiful and whole? This is your chance! Jesus is your
chance, He is the answer.
Dating is not good for our hearts, girls. It’s fun but the consequences are not
worth it. That one-time-thing you did with so-and-so will haunt you when you
want to give your whole heart to another. Memories will flood your mind and you
may even start missing some guy or guys. How do I know this? Because I have
given my whole heart to God, the One I love, and I have cried for a year. I’ve
needed so much healing just so that I could give my whole heart to God. How can
we give our heart to another without encountering God’s healing? We can’t. We
can try to, but after awhile that man will realize that this heart is marked,
and it can’t love the way it was created to because it has been injured. And
then he will try to put your heart back together, and for the time being
everything will seem okay again, but it will all be in vain. Over time, the
damage will show up again. He will wonder why you can’t love him with all your
heart and you will wonder why he can’t fill the holes in your heart.
Jesus is the ultimate healer, lover, and redeemer of our hearts. Nothing can
replace what only He can do. Jesus died for each and every one of us. He died
for our broken hearts that boys can’t fix. He died so that we can live free. He
died so that we can love with our whole hearts. There is no reason for any one
of us to writhe in pain or to let our hearts go numb. Cry out to God, give Him
your bruised and battered heart and let Him replace it with a priceless gem.
It’s time to celebrate the beauty of a woman’s heart.
You were made to be beautiful, and true beauty comes from the heart, and your
heart is the crown of all creation.
My message to all women, is simply this: let Jesus be the protector of your
precious heart. And to the men that happen to read all the way through this:
protect your sisters, your daughters, your mothers, your friends, and your
wives. Fathers and mothers: there is no need for the little ones to learn from
their own mistakes. Let’s all protect the jewels in our lives.
Special Credit to: Lisa Bevere for her book Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry,
and also to Ps. Peter and Ps. Karen Nichols for their teachings on courtship.
Susanna Sphar
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